The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman:
i listen to Canadian radio. weirdo, i know. and they had this guy on, takling about his book, as per above.
according to the dr, people speak in different “languages” which is why we have a hard time loving eachother once we’re past the ‘honeymoon’ phase. the five languages that people can speak are:
(quoted from www.about.com’s article on the book)
Words of Affirmation
This is when you say how nice your spouse looks, or how great the dinner tasted. These words will also build your mate’s self image and confidence.
Quality Time
Some spouses believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love. If this is your partner’s love language, turn off the TV now and then and give one another some undivided attention.
Gifts
It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don’t have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love. Spouses who forget a birthday or anniversary or who never give gifts to someone who truly enjoys gift giving will find themselves with a spouse who feels neglected and unloved.
Acts of Service
Discovering how you can best do something for your spouse will require time and creativity. These acts of service like vacuuming, hanging a bird feeder, planting a garden, etc., need to be done with joy in order to be perceived as a gift of love.
Physical Touch
Sometimes just stroking your spouse’s back, holding hands, or a peck on the cheek will fulfill this need.
so apparently, the language we speak is how we express love for others, and also what we crave in order to make us feel loves. the dr was saying on his show that there are two main ways to identify what people are speaking 1) what they compain about (e.g. i hate how you never give me undivided attention when i’m talking to you…), and 2) what they say they request (e.g. i really wish we’d go on more walks together). interesting, and food for thought this v-day.
i’m a quality timer. i need more time with just the two of us, R. i miss you, in a spiritual, connecting way. i feel like we’re just functioining. i’m not sure this can ever work for me this way. i know that you need touch. i know i haven’t given that to you. i’m going to try.
werll typist, who are you? are you and your partner speaking the same language? do you know what language your partner speaks?
